Sunday 29 August 2010

Inte min dag - Not my day

Värför känner jag så här? Idag har jag en sån där dag....igen! Du vet när man bara känner sig deppig, allt är jobbigt och alla känslor kommer på en och samma gång. Man vill ha allt som man inte har eller kan få, jag behöver en förändring, vill ha en förändring! Men inte kan man få allt. All stress det ger mig stress, allt tryck från omvärlden. All perfektionist. Hur ska jag räcka till, hur ska jag stilla allt? Man irriterar sig på små saker som är helt patetiska. På radion spelar de bara romaniska, lugna goa låtar som ger mig ångest och det gör att jag spricker av saknad efter Desire. Varför gör jag såhär mot mig själv? Jag behöver någon som kommer till mig, ruskar om mig och ger mig allt det där lyckorus i livet som verkar mil-vägs borta. Man kämpar mot det, sväljer hårt och tar sig i kragen. Ibland orkar man bara inte.

Why do I feel like this? Today I have one of those days...again! You know when you just feel depressed and you think you are the only one in the world who feel that way, everything is s*it and all your feelings explode at the same time. You want everything that you don't have or can have, I need a change, I want a change. But you can't have everything. All stress gives me stress, all the preassure from outside, the world. All perfectionism. How can I feel that I am enough of a person the way I am, how can I please myself? You get annoyed for small things, it's patetic! On the radio they just play romantic songs which makes me explode of missing and longing for Desire. Why do I do this to myself? I need somone that gives me a good shake of happiness and love for life today. At the moment it feels like miles away. I fight against it, I swallow hard and raise my head....but sometimes you just can't fight it.

Middag - Dinner

Igår kom Fia och Fredde över. Vi lagade mat, åt gott, drack gott och skrattade en massa. Vilken underbar kväll. Fredde hade plockat en massa kantareller, det smakade fantastiskt. En kväll att minnas.

Yesterday my sister and her fiance came over. We cooked, ate nice food, drank and laughed a lot. A wonderful evening. Fredde (sister fiance) had been out in the forest to pick mushrooms. We call them kantareller. It's the gold of the forest here in Sweden. It tasted fantastic. We also ate rein deer as main course and lemon cheesecake as desert. An evening to remember.







Saturday 28 August 2010

Runt husknuten - 'Round the corner of my house

Det är helg - It's Wkd

Självklart kan jag inte sova länge idag. Redan uppe. Idag ska jag bara umgås med familjen. Kanske ut och ta lite fina för höst bilder med. Annars blir det bara mys, mat, umgänge och skratt. Men först lite frukost och studier. God Morgon.

Of course I couldn't sleep long today. I am already awake. I will just spend time with my family today. food, laughs and love. Maybe I'll go out and take some photos of the beautiful pre-autumn as well, but first breakfast and a bit of studies. Good Morning

Friday 27 August 2010

Sov Gott - Sleep tight

Sussa söt alla underbara människor jag känner där ute.

Sleep tight all wonderful pepole I know out there.

Thursday 26 August 2010

Study Study Study

Idag har det vaxas igen. Det var faktistk svårare än jag trodde. Jag hade peppat mig själv och trott att jag skulle klara det där galant, snabb och effektiv inte något mesande. Men det var mycket teknik och kladdigt. Fick mina underarmar vaxade, gillar jag faktiskt inte. Känner mig som en kal gris.
Jag kan inte sitta här längre, mer plugg väntar. Hej hudens uppbyggnad!

We've been waxing today again. It was more difficult than I thought. I thought I would be good at it, effective and quick. But there was a lot of technique, messy and I ended up with plenty of wax on my hands in the end. I got my lower arms waxed. I don't like it at all. I feel like a pig.
I can't sit here anymore, my books are waiting.

Wednesday 25 August 2010

21.35

Skolan rullar på. Nu har vi fullt upp med all vaxning, nu är jag len och fin. Imorgon ar det min tur att testa kunskaperna. Mycket varvas med teori. Jag tycker än så länge att det ar roligt och tiden springer iväg. Försöker komma in i nagon form av rutin och det blir mycket plugg på vardagkvällarna.
Dagarna bara springer iväg och hösten kommer. Väldigt mysigt.

My school is busy and at the moment we practise waxing. I am very soft now. Tomorrow it's my turn to practise and I don't have to worry about pain anymore (for this time). It's a bit more painful (obviously) as none of us have any experience of practising the waxing before. Well it's an experience, we are like a big opera chorus. So far so good and I am enjoying it. I try to get into some kind of routine again so there's a lot of studying to do during the evenings. The days turn in to nights and the autumn is just around the corner. I love it.

Good Night

Monday 23 August 2010

Gilda Skolan - Gilda School

Nu är jag student! Det var mycket information och fjärilar i magen på min första dag. Mestadels information, utdelning av uniformer, lunch och så fick vi en fadder som är inne på sin andra termin och har lite erfarenhet. Min fadder heter Ida, jättemysig tjej. Vi fick behandling också. Tack Ida för en underbar ansiksbehandlig. Det var så mycket, jag förstår inte ens hur jag kommer kunna lära mig allt. Allt in i minsta detalj. Men det är klart att det kommer gå. Det är bara första dagen det känns så här. Det intalar jag mig i alla fall. Snart är det jag som sitter inne med all kunskap. Det här kommer bli bra. Det ser jag fram emot.
Den här uniformen kommer jag nästintill leva i under det kommande året. En liten bild på en trött tjej efter en lång dag.

I am now offically a student! It was a lot of information and nervosity at my first day in school. It was mostly information, we got our uniforms, had lunch and we also got introduced to a "buddy" each. A student from the 2nd term. My buddy was Ida, lovely girl. We also got a treatment that our buddy had chosen. Thanks Ida for a wonderful facial. I don't really understand how I'll manage to learn everything. But I will. It only takes time. Of course it's a normal feeling to feel the first days or week. It's soon me who is a well educated therapist with all the knowledge. This will be good. Im looking forward to this. This is the uniform I basically will live in this year.
A little photo of a tired girl after a long day.


The quality of the photos are so bad on blogspot. At least I can't complain about my camera now.

Sunday 22 August 2010

Min Söndag - My Sunday

Har vaknat klockan 8 varje dag. Inte kan man få någon sömn när man är ledig. Har varit i Halmstad halva dagen, hälsat på släktingar och strosat runt på Eurostop, framför allt SIBA. Ny dator som gäller för mig.
Solen kom fram och jag var ute på en jogging ur innan. NU har jag och pappa försökt fixa med det nya inköpet tll lägenheten, haha "säcken köp" blir svaret när inget går som man vill. Det blir nog bra till slut.
Nu blir det nog en promenad längs Ätran i kvälls solen, sen lite rostade mackor. Imorgon börjar min första dag som student. Då bloggar jag mer. Puss och god kväll

Woke up at 8am this morning as well, it's typical that you can't sleep when you have the time to rest. I've been in Halmstad half of the day (a bigger city 30 minutes from here) to visit som relatives. We've also been shopping at a shopping centre and I am still looking for a computer for me. It's been very sunny this afternoon so I've been out running. I think I'll go for a walk along the canal in the evening sun now and have toasts with marmelade after that. Tomorrow is my first day as a student again. I'll update more then.
Kiss and good evening

Saturday 21 August 2010

Spelkväll - Family game

Spelkväll hemma ikväll. Skratta så jag kissa på mig. Ser man inte lite ut som Yoko Ono i de här glasögonen?

Family game at home tonight. Was laughing my head off me. Don't you think we look like Yoko Ono in these glasses?
Good Night

Temporary Header

Pappa klagar som en gammal räv på min header bild sa jag försöker fixar med en ny bild. Tillsvidare får ni nöja er med en blom bild.

Dad is complaining bout my header photo so I'll try to work on a new one. Until then you have to cope with this flower.

CV??

Jag sitter och försöker få ihop mitt svenska CV. Jag känner mig lite lätt förvirrade och vet knappt vad svenska arbetsgivare vill läsa. Nu ska man försöka skaffa sig ett jobb i Sverige för första gången i sitt liv. Kan du tänka dig 23 år gammal och jag vet inte ens hur det svenska arbetssystemet fungerar.

Trying to complete my Swedish CV, it's the first time and I feel a bit confused. I don't even know what the employer is looking for. It's time for me to try to find a job in Sweden for the first time in my life. Can you imagine? I am 23 years old and I don't even know how the Swedsh job market works.

God Morgon - Good Morning

Jag brukar alltid älska helgen och lördagar, idag känner jag mig lite halvdan inombords. Ska försöka skaka av mig det och ägna mig åt något roligare. Inga planer på schemat idag. Det blir lite städning, fika på stan kanske och invänta regnet.
Puss och godmorgon!

I normally love the weekends and Saturdays, but today Im not feeling very well. To many thoughts and (worries?) I don't know what it is but I will try to break free from that and energize my day with something more fun. Some cleaning needs to be done, maybe a coffe in town and just wait for the rain. Autumn is soon here. (Well this might not sound that fun? What's wrong with me.
X and Good Morning

Friday 20 August 2010

Swedish Food

The dish is called Pytt i panna.
It's normally made of left overs, but you can also buy it in a frozen package ready to fry in a pan. Potatoes, onion, sausage or other meat ue to be the main ingredients but you can mix what you want. We eat it together with beet root and a fried eggs. Delicious.

Träning - Work Out

Nu känner min kropp att det är dags att träna lite. Eller hjärta och hjärna försoker nå någon form av balans, men det är lite motsträvigt. Sitter i köket och försöker klura ut en bra runda att springa. Jag gillar nämligen inte att ge mig på något som jag inte klarar av, eller där jag inte riktigt vet utvägen. Nu tror jag att jag har en runda på G, vi ger oss på den och får se hur det går. Kram så länge.

I feel it's time for some work, at least my body says so. Im trying to figure out a good place to go jogging, we have a lot of woods, paths and the canal is just behind so there's options. I just want to make sure I start something I can finish. I don't like to stop halfway knowing I am exhausted already. I think I know where to go now, let's see how it goes.

Thursday 19 August 2010

Runt stan - Around town

Idag har det flängts fram och tillbaka. Att börja dagen utan, deo, shampoo, hudlotion eller ansiktsrengöring gav mig ett spratt. Jag och pappa körde runt för att handla lite. Sedan gick jag en sväng för att hälsa på mormor och morfar i deras nya lägenhet. Mormor provade min kamera, jag sa till henne att ta ett kort da frågar hon om jag har film i kameran. Så söt. Ja mormor jag har film i kameran, du kan fota hur mycket du vill. Sedan lunchade jag med mamma och sprang en massa nödvändiga ärenden istan. Nu sitter jag här och väntar på att syster ska komma över. Dags att hoppa n i dushen.

I've been around town today, no beauty products in the bathroom. Gahh, it drove me crazy. Met up with my grandparents and my grandma tried my camera. So sweet, she didn't really get that it's digital, but she managed to take one photo anyway. Then I had lunch with mum at a cafe. It's been sunny and warm today. Been running around in the centre to sort out some stuff. I think I've got most of it ready for the start on Monday. I am waiting for my sister to come over now so I better jump in he shower.

Good Morning from Sweden

Today I woke up in  Sweden, my new place for the next year.
The trip went well, i was so tired yesterday and I didn't sleep at all before my morning flight. Nerves maybe.
Dad and sis met me at the airport, luckily I didn't have to struggle a lot with my heavy bags alone. We made a trip to Ikea and we had hot dogs..Swedish foodthing. I haven't had it since I was little. Yummy. Then we went straight home. My best friends Elin and Krisitna had organised a little surprise visit to me, but my dad can't keep any secrets and I understood from the beginning. We had a drink here on the balcony and then they took me out on dinner. It was lovely, I had a prawn sandwich, a huge one. I couldn't even finsih it. It was amazing being back together.






Wednesday 18 August 2010

Exhausted

Jag är helt slut. Jag skriver mer imorgon. Nu ska jag sova i mitt nya rum, i vår nya lgh på sjunde våning med
havsutsikt.

I am completely nackered, I will give you a full update tomorrow. Now I am going to sleep in my new room in our 7th floor flat with sea view...
Puss

(You will see a difference, from now on I am writing in both english and swedish...)

Tuesday 17 August 2010

A last goodbye

My friends are calling me to say goodbye, wishing me good luck. That makes me sit here on the floor like a shaking little girl, with tears in my throat fighting them back. I try giving myself a smile instead. It's sometimes hard when you know it's the people you like. I love you all dearly. 
You know what I hate most with goodbyes? That I never know if I will ever see the person again. This is an awful thought that just breaks me. You think that people will stay in your life forever - but it's not so - every one is living their own dream. Suddenly...poooffff...people you've shared years together, even if you've just had contact sometimes, are gone and carry on with their own life. That's how it is but you're still standing there in denial. I want every person I meet in life follow me on my journey, I expect to see their faces every day for real and not just in my thoughts is this possible? Even if it was....

HELP!!!!

Oh gosh, it looks like it will be overweight and I haven't even finish....

Not long to go

Am I nervous? Not yet. I have a strange feeling in my stomach and I feel that something's gonna happen. I have prepared myself hard mentally. Not because of the move or the school, because of being separated from each other and not seeing each other every day, not as before. Not be able to turn my head around and see his face or cuddle him when I want or need. As I am such emotional person I know it will hit me when I am standing here in the hallway ready with my bags, ready to take off or when we have to let each other go from each others warm arms and chest. I am not looking forward to the flight trip all by myself. Just have to control my bubble of emotions so it doesn't burst. That's the part I have dreaded for looong time. I know myself, I will start talking with people to try think about something else than emotions or of nervousity that I will start crying. That's why I the last few weeks have tried to work on my way of thinking and making myself strong mentally. Only the other night a few tears came when we laid in bed talking about us and about the future. What is one year when you have a life time together? 

Golden Syrup Breakfast

I've started the day with golden syrup breakfast, tasted fantastic. I am very sleepy today and I thought I would wake up full of energy but I was obviously wrong. I might be later, full of energy I mean.
The weather is cosy today with dark sky, wind and rain sometimes. I think I will crawl down under the duvet again and cuddle my Des for another half hour. Today there's no must or needs. Today we only live as we want. I see you a bit later.

Monday 16 August 2010

One week holiday

I just realise that I have one whole week of holiday now. Jipiiie. My first holiday this summer and the day brought sun. I have celebrated this with some mango and honey greek-style yoghurt. Fabulous! I am running out on the balcony for some sun and in again..about every 5 minutes because I come up with something that I have to do. I have to get organised now, a lot to pack.
Elena is coming over tonight for dinner.

Balcony Chill

I am sitting here on the balcony waiting for the sun to reach me. It starts to be windy and cold here in the shade. I better go inside...

Monday morning at home.

It is such a strange feeling sitting at home on a Monday morning watching all the morning programs whilst everyone else is at work. Was a while ago I did that. This doesn't bother me though. I have had time for a long breakfast, kissing Des goodbye, I've cleaned up the flat a bit and started organising my packing. Clothes, shoes, important documents.....the list makes long. I start to be a bit nervous now, in 2 days I am on Swedish ground again. How do I spend these last two days in London?

Sunday 15 August 2010

Montazami dance crew



I almost make a little wee wee in my pants. Love this lady.

40 minutes run

Exhausted. Whilst running along the canal I realised that a girl came up just next to me. We ran side by side and suddenly from no where my competitive side showed up. You should know that I otherwise absolutely hate to compete, specially in sport. It just makes me nervous and I feel really sick, worried not to do as well as I'd imagine. However when I saw this girl running up next to me I got determined not to let her pass me. I ran faster and faster (she had a high tempo) to be in the lead until I turned off on a smaller road. In my head I won. Oh well after this I had to struggle to get home. I was already exhausted.

Saturday 14 August 2010

21:38

It is Saturday night, I am at home in the sofa. Watching Wallander, It has been a very quiet day.
I just say Puss och GodnattKiss and Good night

Thanks for a good night

Yesterday can be described with: fun, laughter, dance, alcohol, shots, music, wonderful people, kisses, hugs, photos, close to tears, sore feet and a lift home in the worlds smallest and cutest car. We had a crazy ride home, never experienced in London before. Better than the funfair. I've got so many photos from the night,  I let some of the photos speak the words.