Drive me Nuts

Chemistry in my head, heart and soul...NO. My head is saying  No No No burn this book. Stop stop stop! I am angry, so angry my mouth is hurting and I want to kick and scream. Why is this so difficult? Why can't my brain take it in.. why can't I just learn, why does it have to be complicated. Only if I understood, if my head gave me room enough, it would be a big achievment.
Just be patient...